


Leave the Light On

by fab_fan



Category: Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)
Genre: F/F, Introspection, Light Angst, Raelle is a sad exhausted little bean, Raelle needs a hug, Random & Short, Sad, Short, Short One Shot, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25701763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fab_fan/pseuds/fab_fan
Summary: It was quiet, lights out having been called hours ago. Nothing but the faint whitish glow from the nearly invisible sliver of moon, the once bright light that would guide her to the arms of her lover disappearing into sorrow much like her own heart, needing, wanting to hide from the harsh world that tried to pretend as if everything was ok, that Scylla wasn’t missing, flickered in through the stained glass window to spread like tiny frayed threads across the barrack’s dorm floor. Raelle stared up at the bunk above her, listening as Abigail muttered in her sleep and Tally rolled over, the thin mattress squeaking in protest at the movement.She couldn't sleep. No matter how hard she tried. Every time she let her lashes touch her cheeks, memories played like a never ending movie across the backs of her eyelids, relentless in their beauty and torture.
Relationships: Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63





	Leave the Light On

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during Episode 6.

It was quiet, lights out having been called hours ago. Nothing but the faint whitish glow from the nearly invisible sliver of moon, the once bright light that would guide her to the arms of her lover disappearing into sorrow much like her own heart, needing, wanting to hide from the harsh world that tried to pretend as if everything was ok, that Scylla wasn’t missing, flickered in through the stained glass window to spread like tiny frayed threads across the barrack’s dorm floor. Raelle stared up at the bunk above her, listening as Abigail muttered in her sleep and Tally rolled over, the thin mattress squeaking in protest at the movement. 

She couldn't sleep. No matter how hard she tried. Every time she let her lashes touch her cheeks, memories played like a never ending movie across the backs of her eyelids, relentless in their beauty and torture.

_No matter what, I love you._

_Get through the wedding, and we’ll go somewhere safe._

_I like you, ok? I have feelings for you._

Her hand shook as she curled her fingers into a bone-breakingly tight fist, and she pressed it roughly against her trembling lips, jaw tight as she held in a sob.

Scylla was missing, and no one cared.

Everyone acted like it was fine. That there was some investigation, and that mattered. That was all they could do.

Didn’t they understand?

She wasn’t crazy.

Scylla was alive and alone and...what if she was hurt? What if she was scared?

What if she was waiting for Raelle to find her?

Raelle bit the inside of her cheek hard enough to draw blood, her teeth slicing through the tender flesh as she choked back the sadness, willing away the tears painfully pricking her eyes. Her chest was heavy, her stomach churning with despair, tipping and twirling enough to make her feel sick. Bile burned the back of her throat, and her vision turned blurry.

She smashed her head back against the pillow, hand slamming into the mattress, desperately trying to get rid of the sudden need to punch something. To hit and hit until her knuckles bled and her skin tore. To manifest the pain she felt inside into something real, something she could see and touch and understand. That she could hold her battered hands to the sky and show the world everything they refused to see.

No one was looking. Tally was ignoring her. Avoiding her. Abigail never cared for Scylla, hated her, barely tolerated her, and she had her own problems, problems Raelle couldn’t solve no matter how much she wanted to. 

Anacostia was supposed to be investigating, but she hated Scylla even more than Abigail did. Time and again tried to tear them apart. From the couple’s first day to their last.

Everywhere Raelle turned, someone was telling her to stop. To back down. To get back to normal. To act as if the woman she loved wasn’t gone. Wasn’t lost.

That Scylla didn’t matter.

As if it was even possible for Raelle to move on or somehow not be in love with her. As if she hadn’t given her heart to the older witch the second their lips met. That she wasn’t Scylla’s since that first morning they woke up together, a tangle of limbs and souls that entwined so deeply Raelle briefly wondered if this was the way _forever_ felt. 

As if she wouldn't do anything to see Scylla smile. To hear her laugh, rare yet more beautiful than the most gorgeous flower or colorful sunset. That she wouldn’t search every inch of this earth and beyond to find her somewhere she could feel safe at, to make sure she knew Raelle would protect her at all costs.

Protect her.

The one time Scylla needed her to protect her, and Raelle had failed her.

She wouldn't fail her again.

She promised her. Whether Scylla knew it or not, Raelle vowed to be there for her. To be _hers_. 

It didn’t matter that Anacostia would never approve. That Tally somehow changed and acted as if Scylla being gone was fine, nothing to be worried about. That Abigail blamed Scylla for everything Raelle ever did wrong, when Scylla was the reason she ever did anything right.

It didn’t matter that people gossiped about them. Cast them side glances that spoke of judgment and confusion. 

Didn’t matter that Scylla’s parents had been dodgers and Raelle came with a civilian father and dead mother.

All that mattered...was that Raelle hadn’t told her she loved her, yet.

How could the world keep turning if Raelle never got to tell her she loved her?

Suddenly her bunk felt like a cage. The dorm, a prison. She couldn’t breathe. Her lungs screamed in agony. She gulped in air, not getting enough. Her chest was on fire, her limbs restless yet weighed down, the blood in her veins turned to thick sticky immovable mud, her bones gone, replaced with heavy iron and lead. Cold fingers teased her shoulders and face, tapping the base of her spine and diving into her belly, yanking and pulling at her stomach, shredding her to bits. Clawing at her, flames burning, hot and cold and too much. 

Jerking awkwardly, Raelle rolled off her bed, hands and wrists taking the brunt of her fall. She winced, a shot of pain shooting up her arms, but scrambled to her feet. Wild eyes swept around the room. 

No one moved.

Just like no one cared.

They slept on. Not bothered by anything.

Oblivious to the fear and worry.

Nestled in their own beds, their own lives, unbothered by what was happening right in front of them. Buying the bullshit the army fed them about Scylla. 

As if on autopilot, mind fuzzy and images of mirthful blue eyes, terrified blue eyes, haunting her vision, Raelle clumsily tugged on her trousers, shoving her bare feet into her boots and getting tangled in her jacket as she stumbled out of the room. She tripped down the hall, legs moving faster and faster until she was sprinting. She burst out of the building and raced down the paved path, heedless of the late hour or the possibility of patrols catching her and slapping her with demerits.

She ran as fast as she could.

It was never fast enough.

She couldn't escape the demons licking at her heels. The trouble brewing behind her, in front of her, within her.

No matter how hard she pumped her legs or dug her feet into the ground, she couldn't outrun any of it. And, she couldn't make it in time to stop it.

Trees and bushes zipped past her, empty trucks and darkened buildings.

She didn’t stop until she saw it.

Eyes drifting up, as if a siren’s call had captured her attention, Raelle crashed to a halt, knees nearly buckling.

She couldn’t look away. 

The glass was clean, the window sill shut tight. 

The light that used to always be there, a beacon in the darkness that served as Raelle’s lighthouse in the stormy sea of her life, was gone. Snuffed out.

Scylla always kept a light on, studying till it was almost time to wake up. 

Reading her books and taking notes until Raelle showed up, until the blonde could lure her away with the sweetest of kisses and tenderiest of touches. 

The light would go out only after they had fallen into bed together. After their bodies, spent and sated, curled into a warm embrace that spoke all the words neither was ready to say but were true, nevertheless.

Raelle reached out, tip of her finger tracing the outline of the window. She pretended, for a moment, that, maybe, the power went out for a second. Scylla had accidentally hit a switch. She had gone to bed early but was waiting for Raelle. Tucked in her bed, blankets wrapped around her waist, resting peacefully, but wanting Raelle to wake her when she arrived. Give her a quick kiss on her cheek before sliding in behind her. Scylla would hum sleepily when Raelle wrapped her arms around her and snuggled close, burying her face in hair that smelled of dusty texts and the flowers that dotted the walk to their tree. She’d rest her hand on Raelle’s, linking their fingers as Raelle’s spread across the flat of Scylla’s belly, sneaking under her shirt to feel her girl without any barriers between them. 

Soft and gentle and the way she wanted to fall asleep every night.

Scylla was waiting for her. She left a light on somewhere. Wherever she was. Letting Raelle know she was there. Raelle just needed to find it.

Find the lighthouse.

Legs giving out, the soldier crumpled to the ground, not caring that she was in the middle of the road or that tiny bits of gravel cut into her palms.

Scylla had to be at a lighthouse.

That’s where she felt safe.

It was always the lighthouse.

The beach. She felt safest at the beach. At the lighthouse. Where she could watch the boats. Where they could swim in the ocean together.

Where they could be free.

She had to tell someone. Anyone. It all made sense. Scylla wasn’t there, but that didn’t mean the light was completely gone. It had only moved. They only had to find it.

Scylla was smart. Brilliant. She would let them know how to find her. Let Raelle know how to find her.

The investigation. Anacostia. Someone would have to listen to her. 

She’d find Scylla herself, if they didn’t. 

Scylla had to be somewhere. The lighthouse or...somewhere on base. Anywhere. Raelle had to find the light. Maybe...maybe she was in the necro building. Or the infirmary, a back room that no one knew about. Maybe there was a clue. 

It didn't matter. Raelle would find her. She’d tear this base apart. Search high and low. Look in every corner and crevice. She’d figure it out.

She still had to tell Scylla she loved her.

She’d be damned if she didn’t tell her.

If she didn’t keep her promise.

Raelle never broke a promise to Scylla, and she was not going to start now.

Not when all she had to do was look.

See the light.

Find the lighthouse, however and wherever it was.

She just had to look.


End file.
